Tag Archives: pussy

When I Look At Dirty Pics: 28 Seconds Until You Cum

hotpussylick

Warmth… Saccharine on my tongue. Don’t move. I can feel it’s getting good, you’re about to cum.

Hold it. A thousand licks wrapped up in one. Butterfly wings I’ll make my tongue flick up and down. 24, 25, 26… I am going to make you cum.

Squirm. Shimmy. Wiggle. Twist, but I won’t move. Concentration so deep. 27, 28…

Ahhh

I can feel you cum.

2014. All words owned by La Drama Princess/Shanna Hughey and all other names you know her by. Read the full copyright disclosure at the bottom of the main blog page.

3 Ways To Swerve Your Girl Throwing You The Pussy… And You’re A Girl.

When I say I am a sex goddess, I don’t just mean with the men. Women lust hard for this pussy too. What is it, the smell of my hair? The thickness in my lips? My pretty tits?

Sometimes it’s good to get some pussy thrown at you, other times you just want a tired bitch to sit her ass down on a boulder of ice and let her pussy glacial-ize.

I’ve swerved some of the biggest female beasts I didn’t want to touch me, and I’ve also dodged having to see my friends naked when they thought it was time to take things to the next level.  One particular friend, and one night after visiting a spot with dangling sex toys on a wall, a cash register inside, and a huge sign out front, gives me flashbacks all the time.

Why, ma’am, as we soon as we arrived back at your place, you had to get undressed and changed into a skimpy ass bathrobe before you invited me back to your bedroom to “talk”?

Hellno

When I’m in one these “nasty for all the wrong reasons” situations, here’s what I do:

  1. Blame it on the kids. If you’re a parent, you know the advantages of having your kids to save you. Tell her the kids are sleepy. Suddenly the kids have an elaborate bedtime routine that involves singing, dancing, three reenacted stories, and fresh baked cookesfrom scratch! After three hours, she will be too annoyed to push. *If you don’t have kids, or none are available, lay it on your needy ass man. If you don’t have one, blame it on your mama. Just use anyone’s neediness as your rescue.
  2. Tell her, she’s too much like a sister for you to part her pussy lips with your tongue. This doesn’t have to be lying if you do care for her that way, but if you have to “Stretch Armstrong” some truths, DO IT. I won’t be mad. Keep it cute and light. You don’t want to make her cry. If you do, then she can take your tactic to make into a pretzel so that you will give in. Nope!
  3. Remind her of your crotch rot! Again, just make up shit. If she wants to rock pussies with you after that, lose her number and never look back. People say kissing is the most intimate act. I say eating pussy is. I am not saying everyone turns down sick twat, but if they won’t, you don’t need them in your life. If they will knowingly eat a cottage cheese dripping pussy, that nasty bastard will do anything.

It may be easier to have your first pussy fest with a friend, and it may be convenient to fuck them regularly, but not all friends are good enough to look at after you’ve munched. The truth is always better, but sometimes you just don’t feel like telling it.

Trust! I know. The truth has lead to too many hours and days long conversations/interrogations that I don’t have the attention span, nor temperament to endure.

When not interested…

Swerve!

but if the circumstances are totally different, and you actually want that P, feel free to bathe her.

bathe

Bumping Pussies With A Man

I continuously align myself with some old, stank ass adult groups on these social media sites. I ain’t showing no ass. Y’all already know that. So here’s the deal. I was in a group for mature adults. It isn’t necessarily full of dick pics and pussy shots, but sometimes one may be posted. Today was one of those days. But look. Where’s the dick? Mr., your pussy is showing.

fatdude

I am no stranger to a fat bitch, but when your dick print looks like a pussy print, it’s time to think things through. It’s a good thing this guy is gay or is it. Shit was posted on a gay Tumblr.  Who really wants a man with a pussy print? A moose knuckle pussy print at that. I’m not one to bash, but he’d have to eat me into a coma before I’d struggle with all that. Lifting his gut to suck his dick, I don’t want to know what the cheese smells like under there.

I’m still no skinny myself, at least I will never think of myself as so. Do I have to do the splits on top of that pinky toe of a dick, or would it be best to let him sit his belly in the middle of my back when he hits it doggy?

Fuck it. Just be gay. Who can fuck this unless they weigh 105 pounds and do their shopping in the kiddie section?

Sir, you and your pussycat can get the fuck out of here and never come back. Naw, you don’t have to eat it up to impress me either. I’ll pass.

Wait, is that all balls, and he’s tucking the dick? Huh? Honey, I just don’t get it.

But back to the post made about this pic in the stank ass group, I am in. The original question to go with the pic was “would you have sex with him for 2 years rent paid”.

There I go with the irony again.
There I go with the irony again.

Shit naw! Bumping pussies? Why would I do that with a man? I can get a girl, thanks.

I am okay with average sized dicks. Y’all know that, but I need to be able to get to it. Chile if it’s like that for you, you will feel abused once I keep blowing you off, then if I let you fuck, during the struggle I’m going to have to try to bang you with my uncoordinated self, then comes the giggles once I start laughing.

But speaking of pussy. Here’s some for you. Can you taste it?

pussytwist

pussytwist2

pussytwist3

pussytwist4

Then let me suck it, baby.

suckit

suckit2

I won’t miss a stroke as I gulp sweetness.

Reader Email: Her Clit Is Too Little. Help!

The Eroticist’s Advice

Have you ever had one take the panties off and the clit was no where in sight? Okay, well you can easily relate to this reader. Hold my hand. I’m about to teach you something.

Dear La Drama Princess,

I have this new girl, and this is the second one I’ve had who has a super small clit. I ain’t into dicks, but a big clit is what I prefer sucking on when I’m giving my girl oral. I pull her lips back and try to suck, but it’s too hard to keep it out for me to give her good oral. I have big lips and her shit is super small. I stick licking, but I want to give her the full experience. She uses toys too when I’m licking her pussy. What can I do to get to her clit better?

-Signed, If Her Clit Was Any Smaller…


Why do y’all have to hate on small clits? Like small dicks, the people who own them have feelings too. Don’t make them cry because nature didn’t spend much time on their sexual appendages. It’s not their fault.

Dear reader,

I  ain’t gone tell no fibs. I don’t know much about the itty bitty clitty committee and it’s board of directors. I’ve seen them. I don’t have one, and I praise thee for not having such an affliction.

Smaller size clits are as normal as bigger ones, they all have the same amount of nerve endings.

Mr. Drama, yes, like our reader, has had to struggle mode with them. What he advises for sucking and licking a smaller clit is to push the hood back as far as you can get it. Duh! Reader, I know you know that. I wonder though if you are skinning the hood all the way back?

My partner in oral also advises not to suck too hard. Keep the sucking momentum on an even kiln. While you are sucking, you must employ digital vaginal stimulation as the clit is easier to slip from your lips because it is so small and she’s moving around while you’re making her cum. You don’t want her almost their and your simple ass loses the clit from your mouth. Shame!

lickingfingering
Like this, yet use your other hand to expose the small clit completely. Hook your fingers up instead of down. I don’t know why people still turn their fingers down to play in the pussy. What are you doing? Stroking the rectum? Sir/Ma’am! Just fuck the ass.

Personally, I don’t trust this shit, and I want all of my readers and their lovers to get off, and well, so I thought back to some research I’d conducted on toys and remembered this one.

Advice Breakdown 

labiaspreader
For solo or partnered play.

 

The old school way is well and good, but this update to small clit struggle sucking seems like a true winner.

By looking at the diagram, you can see, you can insert it. The curved center of it is what you push side. While inside the vagina, it will stimulate the g-spot as her pussy contracts and she is moving around.

The arms of the thing sticking up, that’s what will hold open her labia (her pussy lips) which will also serve to spread the hood back from covering the small clit. This makes the toy handsfree for partnered sex, and for solo. You can get your pussy ate easily, the clit served, or stroke it when no one is around.

The Intimate Spreader by You 2 Toys received 4 out of 5 stars by Property of Potter (see her full review here), and retails for under $30 USD, which isn’t too bad for the pay off.

It is made of silicone and has a flexible wire inside it to make it bendable. FYI: You 2 Toys has also made a battery powered version, view it here.

If the reader in our email, or any of you try this, I’d love your personal review. I have no reason to use it, but just as a referral for my small clit friends out there, I could eat up the knowledge. Pun intended?

clitsucking

Bless y’all. I’ll take my thumb clit, and get on out of here. See ya next week!

clit-huge-clit


 

If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books from LaDramaPrincess.com. Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there. Licks!

I Lick My Own Pussy, Baby!

If only dreams could come true, so easily. I have been floating on a cloud in my sleep about this very thing, auto-cunnilingus, since I was a wee teen.  Upon waking from a self-pussy licking dream, I always have an intense throbbing in my clit that just gnaws at my soul. In my dreams, I can bend forward perfectly and lick me. The shit is impossible when I’m awake. Big tits are in the way, and my stomach is no washboard.  But I am a woman that believes if I dream it enough times, it’s meant for me to do it. I WILL lick my own pussy. Someday I will.  How? Come with me. I will share.

I won’t be getting a rib removed, and I won’t be shifting my internal organs by way of corset waist training as this was how it was likely made possible over a hundred years ago.

ancientautocunnilingus
Is it shopped? Let’s say no so my hope can live.

Stretching the neck, back, and hamstrings are safer methods to getting your body to become more flexible for the forward bend C. Spending regular time dropping the neck forward and gently pulling it down to your chest with your hands laced behind it, and bending the torso down so that the face is between the legs will lengthen and loosen the muscles in the back and hamstrings. Exercising the hip flexors wouldn’t hurt either. Historically mine has been tight. Stretching and loosening my hip flexors has also improved my posture.

How long before I can lick my twat? 2 years? 3? Is my attention span that long? Maybe I should put up a photo in my bathroom behind the towel rack, to hide it from the minors, as an inspirational shot. When I’m brushing my teeth I will pull back the cloth, admire, then bend.

autocunnilingus

When my dreams are realized and I can finally touch the tip of my tongue to my clit, will I be gay? Bi golly, no.

wink

Will tasting my own pussy from the fountain directly instead of on my fingertips make me the shit? Obviously!

Will Mr. Drama be threatened by my self-eating abilities? He said he will let me have at it for awhile. His tongue can rest some months. I said no it won’t. I’m greedy. We can both do me at the same time. He said our heads will collide. I said we can maneuver, stop being logical. I’m still dreaming here.

Autocunnilingus, like autofellatio, is the ultimate in self-pleasuring. It couldn’t be a sign of something wrong, deviant, or disturbing. I don’t think the act goes against one’s sexuality. It’s just good, clean, own junk slurping, tasting, and drinking fun.

It’s all the rage! Let’s lick!

Will you?

autocunnilingus2

autocunnilingus3

autocunnilingus4

 

Check back on this here blog for Tuesday’s reader email. Can we be friends without fucking you in my mind? Use the follow button on the right sidebar and never miss a post by me when you subscribe. You don’t even have to be a WordPress member. Don’t forget to share with your friends. They need me in their lives too.