Tag Archives: cheating

Reader Email: My Husband Cheated. Now He Wants To Have Sex With Me.

The Eroticist’s Advice

Dear Eroticist,

I’m going through. My Husband cheated and I took him back. You may ask why, but I’m not letting anyone else have my man. But now that we are back together, how do I have sex with him after all this? The sex part is very hard for me,  much harder than just having him back in the house. He’d moved with his mistress and they lived together for two months. It didn’t work out and he came back to me. I took him back. I know I was stupid for that. But he is my husband. What can I do to have sex with him again? I keep thinking about them and what it was like, and why he is back with me.

-Signed, I Can’t Fuck My Cheating Husband

Y’all are getting heavy with shit ain’tcha. Mr. Drama and I have discussed this one and we are on the same page. Let’s jump in.

You said that he is recently back living with you after living with the other woman for a short stint, and I know this has to be extremely hard to deal with on so many emotional levels. You have your commitment to your husband, and he has dashed his and now he wants to act like the lyrics of an R&B song and come crawling back.


Look, I am not a marriage counselor, I haven’t been married, but I do know allll about emotions. “Emotional” should have been my middle name.

I feel it is good to have him back in the house with you, because it is yours together. That is part of the commitment. This is part of the whole swing of things you didn’t need to wait to get back. Giving him your body again: I won’t say do it on the first night of him lying in your marital bed.


Advice Breakdown 

The emotions, why he didn’t have that tight emotional tie with you before the cheating to keep him from cheating, are such which needs to be investigated the hell out until you hit the heart of the matter. If he wasn’t ever the type of to open up, get real now. He isn’t going to be easy to get this out of. I say to be direct in what you need to know. Speak your heart and share yours and require him to do the same. There is no real work he can do if he isn’t giving you the truth from his heart, not that found in his head where it’s easier to uncover things to say that he feels you want to hear, or he feels are easier to say.

If he isn’t going to open up, I say commitment is void.

You can’t be in a healthy relationship with another person by yourself. Get what I mean?

As soon as you read this tell him what you require. You must have an open stream of communication about what he expects out of your relationship post-affair, and you need to set clear requirements for him to make you trust him again. And for you to fuck him again, you must be able to trust him again.


As the trust grows, I feel that you will want to have sex with your husband. You will open yourself up to him to come to have you. With the trust back, what she did with him, and what he did to her, why he liked her, what is so great about her body compared to yours, and things of that nature won’t jump into your head all the time when you think of having sex with him. And I think that is what the problem is mostly anyway.

With a strong bond of trust, comes personal security.

Take your time, reader. This is a test of work ethic here.

I’m not one to easily give up, but if I felt it going that way, I’d get it over before I let him pop my coochie again.

That’s just me. And this was my regular Jane advice.

Good luck and best wishes in the good stroke coming back to your lives together.

If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, the inbox is open. Write to: TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your questions and my answers will hit this blog on Tuesdays. 

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Year 3, And My Pussy Was Already A Loosey Goosey

Partners get the wandering eye when they lack good loving at home. Shit, they’ll leave because of a busted, ran through pussy too. They’ll leave because of anything. You can’t make a person stay with you who doesn’t want you. Why would you think daily sex, damn near ’round the clock would provide you any security?

If all you have is a hard dick, what are you waiting on to get your shit together? Another sexy guy with a big dick to come along and steal her, because he has money, assets, and valuable insights? Don’t listen to me. Do what you want. When he’s moving his boxes in on top of your cum stained shorts, drop me a line and thank me later for dropping the warning before the storm on ya.

Come to me, baby. I love it when they say, “you were right again, Princess”.

I once was told by a person who was going through a bitter and long divorce, that she didn’t understand why her man would cheat with multiple women when she gave up the pussy to him constantly. Well, I have a few guesses. That pussy is old to him. It’s raggedy. You look like shit in the morning. You don’t have shit to talk about other than reality TV. Your idea of a well-spent day off is getting drunk and passing out.

I wouldn’t sit on here and say I haven’t been guilty of doing some of those things, save for the latter, but I keep them to a minimal and make myself well-rounded. Any adult looking for a relationship or trying to keep one together should be the same way.

In my last post, I said to be available for sex to reduce chances of him cheating. I stand by that post. In the grand scheme of life, I believe it holds weight. I also believe that anyone that has nothing going on for them and has nothing they can bring to the table of a relationship, emotionally, spiritually, or otherwise tangibly, deserves to be cheated on.

All relationships are about what you can get from the other partner that will support you as a person, a whole being. Humans need those connections for better quality of life. There is nothing to gain from a man who brings nothing, but his hard dick and bad habits. Bad habits are so much easier to accept when the whole package of a person is valuable. If every time she’s going through something with her socialite friends, all you can do is pull your dick out and say, “Baby, come ride on this. I’ll make it better.”, plan your move back to your roommates–starting last week. Your dick isn’t that good to sustain that shit for years and years.

Friends, if you meet someone and all they want to do is fuck your brains out, they have some shit with them, and it ain’t all good.


Run or prepare to go through hell shaking them off. They will make you out to be the bad person for dumping them, but you have to do it soon. I’ve heard some pretty bad divorce stories where the better partner didn’t know how to cut it off in the beginning of dating. They ended up pity fucking all the way through marriage.

Save yourself. Don’t be a statistic. Give the always horny girl, but ain’t never doing shit else or have anything worth listening to, say one or two fucks, then disappear.

Fuck Going To Bed Mad, Never Deny Him Sex

Come close. I have to tell you something. Your man is fucking your son’s teacher, his barber too. What? Don’t look at me like that! It’s true.

If you have been withholding, your man will sleep with someone else. He will do it physically and he will do it mentally. This is not some bullshit I made up because I think I know everything. I’ve heard a thing or two from married men.


Sometimes cheating is simply about a lack of a good fuck. That is the reason why some step out and do the most with outside partners. They have a selfish bitch at home.

You don’t need an excuse to give your man sex and you don’t need a reason to give it up to him. If he wants it, and you are capable, give it to him. If you aren’t available, make yourself available.

Being angry with him isn’t a good enough reason to not fuck him. Old people have been saying since they were young people, to never go to bed mad at your mate. I have, but I always woke up loving them,  willing to work through the issue, after starting the process before turning in for the night. One thing I am dead set on not doing is turning him down because I’m not that horny, or my leg hurts, or I have to get the kids squared away to bed, whatever, whatever, on and on…

Hell, what’s really stopping me from tooting my cooch out and letting him hit until he gets his? Nothing!


I know I’m gonna get mine. I have a hot twat like that, even when I’m not that horny. I just love me some him and I want to keep him satisfied with me. No, sex won’t completely satisfy him, but it makes him feel wanted and helps to make him feel that I am available to him.

Although, my mate doesn’t expect sex from me, he is comfortable in the fact that he can get it from me anytime, menstrual bleeding withstanding.

He doesn’t want his red wings.

Bottom line: Fuck your mate. Morning, noon, or night. Everyone loves a ready lay.

A disclaimer: Nothing in this post is applicable in situations where violence is a factor in a relationship, in any shape or form. This post does not apply to extreme medical situations where the fuckee cannot be expected to perform. I am talking to you perfectly, healthy bitches with a chip on your shoulder trying to punish your husband.

If He Cheats Again, I’m Putting a Lock on That Junk!

No lie, but I didn’t know these things really existed, chastity devices for men. This post goes out to all of the ladies and men who have a man that they love, who won’t keep it in his pants and save it just for the one they have at home.

male chastity

Sales director Michael Yates stated in the article found on HuffPost, that his father-in-law came up with the product along with his wife as a way to add spice to their sex lives. The wife retains a large part of control over the husband’s junk when he’s wearing the chastity device, in that if he feels that urge coming on, he has to wait for her to pull out the key and unlock his junk, and we assume get him off, or help.

Sounds all well and good, until someone takes it too far, and you know they will. So, to all you cheating men out there. You’d better beware. You could wake up with this on your dick.