All posts by LaDramaPrincess

La Drama Princess writes erotic fiction. She specializes in short stories and novellas featuring multicultural characters. www.ladramaprincess.com

The Purple Pussy Creamer. Porn Star Diddling. A Sex Toy Review

I finally did it!

Wait. You thought I meant I finally creamed? Fuck no! I been doing that. That’s old shit. Y’all need to keep up, alright. Cumming per the use of a toy? Now that’s kinda sorta some unicorn shit with this puss.

So what is it? It’s this!

Love Magic Wand Massager is rechargeable and cheap.

This new lover in my household is The Love Magic Wand Massager. It comes in white, purple, black, and hot pink. The stem for the head is flexible. The head is like a foamy type deal. This jawn has 20 speeds too and does patterned vibrations (I’ve only used it on high, so keep reading to find out what happened to me).

Let me tell you. There is a long, bad story of my reliable g-spot plastic vibrator, that we affectionately called, “the red thing”. It was regular but it worked for me to get over my big ass boobs (they’re surely porn star big naturals title worthy now) and my tummy. It had controls on the end of it and it didn’t make the twat itch. As I remember, it doesn’t matter, so let me shut up describing. I don’t have the shit no more. My daughter stole it! Yes, my 19-year old daughter who has autism and no damn boundaries stole my shit, bro. Mister says I have no proof, but I don’t think my son stole it for his asshole. Who’s left after her? She is the same person who has been caught with my drawls on numerous times. But Imma chill, though.

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After going to my stash spot to use “the red thing” one day alone, finding the bitch wasn’t there by the Astroglide, and I didn’t have it anymore, raging out on my adult child and her acting like she didn’t know what I was talking about, but If I said go find me that bucket of chicken she’d be back in 2 seconds with a half ate bucket standing there like the Road Runner…

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I had an epiphany.

“Fuck this shit! You can have it. I’ll order another.”

A thought rang in my head immediately after that statement of ordering a magic wand.

Now I am entirely too cheap to be spending hundreds on sex toys when I can still cum by fingers if I have to, and I have this wonderful “dick curves to the left and hits that g-spot just right”, magic tongue having man.

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I took my black ass to eBay and got my life to some shit less than $20.

The Love Magic Wand was advertised as an authentic Hitachi Magic Wand, but this was eBay I was dealing with. Come on.

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I got it and washed it up for later, deciding to determine for myself if it was worth a damn, brand name lied on and all.

Pro tip: use pH balanced and unscented soap on your cooch and your toys. Sensitive girls will thank me later.  pH balanced soap will state such claims prominently on the front label if you don’t make your own like I do.

I had to use the Love Magic Wand twice before I knew it was the one, and the third time is when my pussy dripped cream. No. I didn’t bring back evidence. You got the internet! Use it to hit those sites and compare notes to what I am about to drop on you.

New book by me, La Drama Princess, in the works. There will be lots of woman banging in the pages.

Some of the sex-nastiest books you will ever get off to. Taste a sample. 

The first time I used it, I put my lube on the clit, but I made the mistake of spreading my hood too flat and that just blew the whole shit for me. The vibration was very annoying like that for me. I have this one spot on my clit that is heavily sensitized. This was a recent discovery, in the past few months, and when this clit area is stimulated, I scream like I’m getting stab when I cum. I have to let the Love Magic Wand Massager just sit on my clit to hit the spot it seems. I remembered this for my second use of this jawn and did simply that on my lubed clit.

Bay-beee! When I tell you I fell in love again for the 100th time of my life…

It was multiple orgasms too, and without my man on the puss. Chile, yes! I knew what the women in the movies were going through.

Afraid, knowing my clitoral nirvana could have possibly been a fluke, I tried it again, and that’s when I splooged. No one was here with me to witness (it was relatively quiet), but I felt it shoot out and hit the heart of my ass cheeks, as I was grounding and moaning like crazy, screeching cumming again, and again, and again. YES!

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I never got a wand before because I was scared it would mess up my clit blessings and make it harder for me to cum without the toy. This doesn’t seem like the case. Oh! And I didn’t get any attachments. It’s just me and the wand. I don’t like to penetrate when I masturbate anyway and he can use his body to do that when we are laid up together.

Do I suggest you get one? Hell yes! Will it work for everybody? It has great potential, and I say that as fickle person. Can it make everyone multiorgasmic? Again, I sure believe so. Should you use it with youpartneret? HELL YES! Because if you have one like mine, you will be spent with a soaked mattress, and floor, if you fuck as us, off the side of the bed-missionary. If you don’t, this Love Magic Wand Massager could be just the think to finally make your fake orgasms believable.

If you don’t, this Love Magic Wand Massager could be just the thing to make your oragsms believable.

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Gone, girl! Get you some. If you are considering a gift for your girl. Blow that$20. If you absolutely hate it or it dies, shit, it was only twenty dollars. In case mine dies before I’m ready to get another one, I’ll be sure to come back and tell you how long it lasted and what I think caused it.

User tip: hold the button that looks like a star for 3 seconds steady and will turn off, if not, you may be found in a coma with jizz all over everywhere on and under you.

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Toodle-loo, wet drawls and cocks at salute!

 

 

 

 

It’s Been A Long Time. I Should Have Left You, Without A Good Piece to Fuck To.

Don’t sue me, Timbaland. I’m an asshole by nature. No foul intended.

On to my business today.

I see you faithful nasty ass readers. Look at you showing up while I’ve been gone, coming by here to get some material off my page, with your freaky self.

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Once I saw y’all were browsing  (so many of you), I decided to help you with something else.

Oh! For those who actually came on here because they give a shit about books, I’m also working on a new one. It’s not the one with the progress bar on my “currently working on” page. What I’m doing right now is not set in the present. It has same sex loving main characters. They are black, and…   That’s all I want to say about it right now. Subscribe to the newsletter for any giveaways or any secret info I may release about this upcoming release or any other book here. You get a free extended sample of Swinging Submission when you do and sometimes I send out coupon codes for the books. Don’t worry. I don’t spam and use my emails wisely, sending them when necessary.

Today, I wanted to help you find my other books. I never posted the links to my books on there before (or did I), because I don’t price my shit like I don’t have a good self-esteem. I ain’t taking no damn $.99 for all my hard work and imagination like no one out here loves me. You will go on AZ and may think my stuff is too high if you are used to people tossing their shit on there for less than a dollar (hell, even $5 for a real novel in electronic format). I ain’t the one!

This is my author page on there, or whatever you call this type page on Amazon:

Books by La Drama Princess on Amazon

But there’s another way (an asinine one) to find me on there. It will take you a couple of minutes the first couple of times. This isn’t my fault so don’t think I did anything extra so you can’t find me, but supposedly hiding books considered adult content on AZ helps to keep these books away from the underage. If we are talking little kids, I might buy that reasoning, and am happy my stuff is tucked away in its place there, but concerning teens and tweens… You’se a damn lie. They aren’t being stopped from finding what they want, and there are much racier books on AZ you can easily find in the search worse than me.

Anyway, let me stop wasting your time with the truth and get on with how you can find La Drama Princess and all her too adult for Amazon books, actually on Amazon:

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*The filth is below the words if you don’t give a shit about books.

Go to Amazon.com

Click on Departments under the search box.

Click on Kindle.

Click Kindle books from the nested menu.

Click Literature & Fiction.

Click Erotica.

Go back up to the Amazon.com search box and type in “La Drama Princess”.

The search will return results for my first two joints: You Ain’t The One and Submit to The Dark Side. I don’t know why Swinging Submission isn’t returned, since swinging isn’t an uncommon word in erotic titles, ALSO on Amazon, but I am going to leave it alone and take a deep breath. Naw, I’m not. It just can’t be the booty cheeks on two of my covers (won’t mention the tits on Submit to The Dark Side because that seems legit, maybe). I have seen other cheeks on other authors’ covers when conducting a regular, standard search on Amazon.

What do you think the problem could be?

I’ll leave this post up top, pinned for a while.

While I’m quiet again, y’all take care!

Anyway, BYE!

Love you. Oh, I have an old Tumblr I still post to sometime.

Take this! Take This!

From Pinky’s Submission.

1,000 Tips For Heart Attack Inducing Sex: Stagger Your Sex Toys

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One potato, two. Start with the smallest, plastic dick or least intense wiggle jock you find, then grow to the biggest and deepest vibrations. Don’t hurt yourself. Get to know your sex toys. Read the tips on the website. Know what the hell you are doing.

And by all means, if sparks start flying, throw that shit out and start with something new.

For the fellas on a Hitachi.
For the fellas on a Hitachi.