Category Archives: The Eroticist’s Advice

Reader Email: I’m A Swinger, But She’s Fucking Up The Rotation

The Eroticist’s Advice 

This week’s email comes from a female reader in one messy situation:

I am a swinger. I often go out with a friend (Fiesty) and her acquaintance (Fragile) to events and parties. All three of us women indulge together when we are out. Recently, both Fragile and I have slept with Fiesty, but not in a threesome, separately. Fiesty and I are close and a lot alike and we both respect our relationship for what is. Fragile is not so carefree. Recently Fiesty told me Fragile has been asking all up in our business, about my past with my exes, and it’s really starting to piss me off. Fragile has also expressed to Fiesty her feelings are beginning to grow into more than just sex. Thus, although they’ve only known each other for 6 weeks. It’s not like Fragile can’t get anyone else. She has plenty of beautiful women at her feet.

This situation is putting me in a fix and I don’t know what to do. Do I confront the Fragile or let Fiesty handle it?

–Signed,  Swinging Isn’t Supposed To Be This Hard.

Most people would read this letter and center on the swinging, but there is more to our reader’s dilemma than just the sex between three women who are open sexually, as individuals and to the world. Swingers aren’t the only ones having sex with multiple people. They just are the ones who have owned their desires and have become honest with themselves and their partners. So this advice can go for anyone who hasn’t claimed the lifestyle as well.


One thing that people need to realize is that we are all human. Rules are rules, but we tend to break them when we get to sexing. “Swinging” although you don’t sleep with Fragile, your friend Fiesty does. Your simple relationship’s complexities have been confounded thrice. You have lost, what I don’t know, one degree of sexual separation between you and your friend’s lover. All I know is the shit has gotten deep whether you want to deal with it or not, but you have to deal with it.

In my experience, people don’t act like your friend’s lover unless they have caught feelings, and people don’t catch feelings over nothing. Again, for a whole ton of people sex brings a whole new turn of events to the scenario . You happen to be one of those who can fuck and not melt at the heart. Or maybe you just haven’t met that right one yet, and maybe your friend’s lover has.



With all great chances, it could be that Fiesty has whipped that thang on Fragile and the woman just can’t get over it. Her questioning your friend about your past seems like she wants an in to knock you out of the picture.  Girl, take it from me, some people just won’t let you be great in peace. They can’t all be on our level of getting and dishing those nuts like a Queen. Girl, I know you don’t want to, but you must consider their challenges and attend to the issues they have brought to the table.

Advice Breakdown

As I’ve conferred with Mr. Drama about this issue, we both agree that it would likely be best you cut your losses with Fiesty and walk away. You are all swingers. What is it to have new pussy to females like you three? Right, you stated in your letter that your friend’s lover has beautiful women at her disposal too, but they aren’t Fiesty.


Pillow talk can be a muthafucka to the lives of those who weren’t there for the talking. After laying with Fiesty,  y’all shoot the shit and swap stories and spill like you usually do. The same is happening with her and her lover, even if she says they aren’t close like you and her are. Sometimes people see things as basic because that’s all they want to see. They ignore what they’ve done in a situation to add or take from it, but they have done something.

You shouldn’t confront Fragile. That’s Fiesty’s job. Fragile may be working your last good one, but shit. She won’t be the last, and I know she wasn’t the first.

How important is this sexual relationship with Feisty, because it may be time for it to end. Once more, you have options, and you already know how to implement them. It may be time. It’s all in what you want to put up with.

You could always do nothing and wait and see what all kinds of disasters this mess can escalate into. One possibility in particular I wrote about in my latest book, “Swinging Submission” ( It is erotic, very, but it also involves a precautionary tale which I believe anyone sexing more than one person at once and they all know should read up on.

The moral to the story: All the good intentions in the world can still end up fateful. Know when to cut ‘em off and keep it pushing. All good pussy ain’t even worth it.

–Log on next week to read my advice to a reader who wants to know how to get back into loving sex with her husband AFTER he’s CHEATED.

If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, the inbox is open. Write to: TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your questions and my answers will hit this blog on Tuesdays. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.



Reader Email: Can Friends Just Be Friends?

The Eroticist’s Advice 

Here we are for another week with another reader wanting advice:

Can two friends of the opposite sex truly be in a friendship without having sexual thoughts about each other? Please advise.

–Signed, Fucking You In My MInd, But We’re Still Friends.


Dear Fucking You In My Mind,

This one is a toughie for me.

I don’t consider myself an average human being. In my mind, I can be in a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and not think about fucking him. I know that many cannot do that, men and women.  Does it matter if he has the lips and nose upon his face that I am so attracted to? No, it doesn’t.


I am involved, so that may very hell have a lot to do with it. I’m satisfied with the person I am with, and secure within myself, and which does affect the circumstances. An insecure person is more likely to stray from what they already have, constantly needy for more sex from outside of their relationship to fill them up. Would an insecure person also look at their friends as possible conquests, or misconstrue love in a friendship as romantic love? Yea, I think they would.


Friends should be viewed close in our hearts as we do our siblings, or at least cousins. Off limits! You tell them all your worries and secrets, but no touching under the clothes, or masturbation to the sound of their voice. It’s just eww if you do.

Does the world share my unique view? Hell no! Most will say that no man can be trusted to be a woman’s friend. Again, weakness will make you easier to succumb to the calls of your carnal desires in the presence of a friend.

It’s called limits. Get you some.


Do some men and women use their friendship as a cover for their true sexual and romantic relationship? Yep! Do friends turn into lovers because there is something genuine there between them that needs exploring and establishing at the next level? Everyday,  but it’s still rare.

Advice Breakdown


To the woman who can’t stop thinking about the dick print in her friend’s pants, I say to you: shift your vision to the dick print in the pants of the man to his left. You don’t need the drama of insatiable thoughts about your best friend when he’s just trying to vent about his wife’s bad cooking and texting obsession. He needs you to be there for him. Do that. Find someone available to you in a way that won’t put you in the predicament to be lead into awkward territory and cause you to have to decide to give up someone who means so much to you or risk skewing a perfectly special bond into a relationship that could just as easily not work as any other you may get into.

Keep your friends out of the nasty corner of your mind, your bed, and your sex swing. Friends should stay friends only.

–Next week’s question comes from a reader who wants to know why some women can’t just enjoy the swinging and not catch feelings and how to keep her pussy utopia above ground. Subscribe so you won’t miss it when The Eroticist and Mr. Drama give their advice.

If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books from Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there. Muah!


Reader Email: How Can I Get Him Hard Again?

The Eroticist’s Advice 

Mrs. Princess I love the blog. It’s hot! Can I ask a question for the advice part?

After a man cums how long do you suck his dick to make him hard so you fuck him again? Do you have any techniques to speed up the process?

-Signed, Sucking Him Up For Round Two

Thanks for stopping by and reading! I hope I’m helping you get your weekly fix. I do have an answer for your question.

Every man is different. I don’t know yours, so all I can do is give you generalities.

Some men are quicker to gain an erection after cumming than others, and there’s a few factors that go into that. First, you must look at the age of your man. The younger he is, the sooner it can happen. If he’s older, he isn’t hopeless, but the timeframe between ejaculation and sequel erection will be longer than 15-30 minutes as opposed to how it would be with a younger man. Men reach their sexual peak at about 19 years old (boy how do I miss getting my back blown out by some tenders when was I was 18–mmph! scrumptious).  At that age all men are more likely to cum then get hard again faster than you can blink, but cumming isn’t the same as having an orgasming.

Think of cumming more as the organic result of the act of sex. If you need more clarification of what I’m talking about, check out this post on multi-orgasmic men I wrote not long ago. He could be experiencing much more without releasing any ejaculate. This is something that is ageless too, and it’s possible for any man to experience.

But how does one get their man hard again if they don’t want to wait for nature to take an unassisted course?

My Advice:

Hit his zones.


The picture above  shows the erogenous zones of both the male and female anatomies. Everything in deep red is a spot to access to get your partner turned on. My personal favorites are the neck (side-right), and the V of his crotch. The inner thigh is a good one too. The V is my first go to when I need him erect again quickly.

Graze it with the side of your face, your lips. Blow on it softly. Lick it. Be the turtle to win this race.

Keep your eyes on his dick. Watch it slowly rise. Cup his balls. Suck the tip, then slip all the way down. The dick should be ready for riding in minutes.

That shit should have him begging you to give up your secrets so that he can know how to evade your powers when he just doesn’t want to be reigned over. But will he put up a fight?  He will be sliding into you before he can say “pound me”.





Any more questions? Yea, I thought so.

Now give a round of applause to two of our favorite amateur stars,  Roc & Shay. Google and get into them.

If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there. Muah!

Reader Email: Fucking On The Curb

The Eroticist’s Advice 

Hi Ms. Eroticist. I have a question.

Is it normal for public displays of affection to lead to public sex?

–Sex in public places


Dear “Sex in Public Places”,

Hmmm. This is kind of a tough one for me. As wide open as I am here, I’m very private otherwise. I tell and show what I please at my own comfort level, yet I do understand that others are much more open than me with their sex lives.

Is it normal for a peck on the cheek, or a swat on the ass in public to turn into full on banging? Not in my life, but there is indeed a distinction I must make between sex in public and sex in front of the public.

Sex in public could happen behind a quiet corner of a department store next to the men’s pants, or fingering her under the table at an outdoor restaurant. In both scenes, the two have must use discretion in their play, and this is not the same as pulling out your junk in the line at the movie box office and shoving it in. A little sneaking and freaking in the parking lot in the car during lunch hour at a bustling, fast food joint can be a rush, but so is definitely not on the level with riding it out in PlayLand. The latter will get you banned and arrested I’m sure.


In “Sex in Public Place’s” question, there were no clues as to what they meant exactly, but if they did mean sex in front of the public as I’ve defined it, they must consider themselves an exhibitionist. To exhibit sex or simulate it in public is normal at varying degrees. Children do it all the time, small babes. Wouldn’t a girl who wears shorts up in her ass fall into the category of exhibiting her sexuality? I do think so.

Again I‘d like to point out, this week we have another reader who writes in with a question that seems to seek approval of their sexual activities. I am not one to tell you you are wrong.  What I will do is make suggestions.


Advice Breakdown 

Assess your lovemaking sessions. If sex in the public, or in front of people outside of your private spaces has already been problematic for you, address the amount of time you are putting into sex. Are you being fulfilled having enough time when you have sex? Is it rushed? Are you getting enough attention orally? Is the lovemaking not as fierce as you want it to be?

As I’ve talked to people over the years, one thing I notice is that many people believe that a vibrant sex life is one where the partners have multiple acts of sex in a matter of hours, but the acts themselves are only short bursts. If this is true for you “Sex in Public Places”,  spend more time finessing the atmosphere to bring about more closeness when you are grinding down for the most dripping wet, puddling sex possible with you.

Take it to the glass, and make it last. Mmmm


“Uh-uh-uh. Ohhhhhh pound it! Give. To. Me. Ohhh. Ah-aaaaahhhhhhh.”

Mmmm… That’s the stuff. From sheets to the streets, all I ask you freaks to do is make it naaaasty.  Just don’t catch any charges and expect me to help you out or anything. No my brotha, you’re on your own!

–Meet me back here next week when we answer one reader’s question on oral and the age old question of how long to wait.

Keep the questions coming! If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog the following Tuesday. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.


Reader Email: Salty, Sticky Snowballs In His Mouth

The Eroticist’s Advice 

Dear Eroticist,

Is it okay for my girlfriend to give me a surprise snowball? We’ve been together over a year.

–Always surprised.

Dear “Always Surprised”,

Before I jump into answering your question, let me take time to  give a breakdown of your question for the novices.

I am not sure of the level of sexual education of my readers when it comes to fetishes and other diversions of what the Average Joe would call the norm, so I will briefly take time to school the ignorant of what exactly a snowball is.

Ahem! Shall we?

A snowball in the terms of sex play is the same in color as the snowballs we make outside during winter. It is white, but this type of snowball is also sticky, sometimes slippery. Some would say slimy. Eh, maybe.

Where it comes from is deep within a man’s balls. The ejaculate is the meat and potatoes of the sex snowball. It is that which makes it sticky, but it doesn’t quite come together to be more than what the receiver can swallow until the receiver decides to share it with the partner who spit it, or another present who wants a taste.

That’s right, the snowball isn’t exactly a snowball until the ejaculate has been swapped and spilled into the mouth of one partner from another.



Everyone on the same page? Good!

Now, let’s get down to business.

Our reader wrote in to ask a question on a subject which seems to concern two issues: social taboos and possibly respect. I am not sure of the numbers or average of couples who engage in snowball sex play, but I am confident in asserting most men of those couples would not admit they like it and take part in it if confronted with the topic in a public forum.

Ask the average, hard-working man would he eat his cum, and you will likely get an emphatic “hell no!”.

There’s something special about tasting yourself, and a large number of men would akin such an act as feminine. Do I agree with them? Not really. I say, “how bold is one to be for them to ask someone else to taste them and not taste themselves”. I think that’s more offensive.

Still, one has to be comfortable in their own sex life. To cross such social boundaries, whether real or perceived, one should take the courtesy of discussing play that may make one feel uncomfortable.

For reader “Always Surprised”, here’s My Advice:

Before you have sex with her again, have a sit down about this and hash out your issue with her on the matter. Don’t walk away from the topic until you have set clear boundaries of what you would like out of sex with her, what is completely off-limits, and what you are willing to work your way into doing. Be firm and resilient to any sex play which you feel violates you.

Make a trade-off. What else can she do to you, or you for her gratification, in place of snowballing? Attack this problem as adamantly as it requires. Although society has likely had its influence on you as far  what society says is feminine and wrong for a man to take part in sexually, it’s more to do with what you think of your own practices behind closed doors.

If it’s the taste that’s mostly taking you by surprise, clean up your diet. You know what they always say, more natural fruits and juices, and less of the bitter foods and meats, and your cum will taste better in no time.

How’s that for sucking it all down in one gulp?

If nothing else, turn your back to her and run in the opposite direction when she comes up for the passing.

You don’t have to take it.

I mean, can you really still call it a surprise?


Wait, no.

Was this email really just an opportunity for “Always Surprised” to swap his semen stories with me? Sir, no thanks.

Snowballs aren’t for me. I like my cum hot and down my own hatch. Thank you very much!

–See ya next week when we will read and advise a reader on taking it to the streets and lying down and grinding that meat. Hot pavement be damned? We’ll see!


If you have a question for The Eroticist to answer, write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog the following Tuesday. 

#support #indieauthors Buy all of my erotic books from Rate and read and leave reviews while you’re there.