Reader Email: Can Friends Just Be Friends?

The Eroticist’s Advice 

Here we are for another week with another reader wanting advice:

Can two friends of the opposite sex truly be in a friendship without having sexual thoughts about each other? Please advise.

–Signed, Fucking You In My MInd, But We’re Still Friends.


Dear Fucking You In My Mind,

This one is a toughie for me.

I don’t consider myself an average human being. In my mind, I can be in a friendship with someone of the opposite sex and not think about fucking him. I know that many cannot do that, men and women.  Does it matter if he has the lips and nose upon his face that I am so attracted to? No, it doesn’t.


I am involved, so that may very hell have a lot to do with it. I’m satisfied with the person I am with, and secure within myself, and which does affect the circumstances. An insecure person is more likely to stray from what they already have, constantly needy for more sex from outside of their relationship to fill them up. Would an insecure person also look at their friends as possible conquests, or misconstrue love in a friendship as romantic love? Yea, I think they would.


Friends should be viewed close in our hearts as we do our siblings, or at least cousins. Off limits! You tell them all your worries and secrets, but no touching under the clothes, or masturbation to the sound of their voice. It’s just eww if you do.

Does the world share my unique view? Hell no! Most will say that no man can be trusted to be a woman’s friend. Again, weakness will make you easier to succumb to the calls of your carnal desires in the presence of a friend.

It’s called limits. Get you some.


Do some men and women use their friendship as a cover for their true sexual and romantic relationship? Yep! Do friends turn into lovers because there is something genuine there between them that needs exploring and establishing at the next level? Everyday,  but it’s still rare.

Advice Breakdown


To the woman who can’t stop thinking about the dick print in her friend’s pants, I say to you: shift your vision to the dick print in the pants of the man to his left. You don’t need the drama of insatiable thoughts about your best friend when he’s just trying to vent about his wife’s bad cooking and texting obsession. He needs you to be there for him. Do that. Find someone available to you in a way that won’t put you in the predicament to be lead into awkward territory and cause you to have to decide to give up someone who means so much to you or risk skewing a perfectly special bond into a relationship that could just as easily not work as any other you may get into.

Keep your friends out of the nasty corner of your mind, your bed, and your sex swing. Friends should stay friends only.

–Next week’s question comes from a reader who wants to know why some women can’t just enjoy the swinging and not catch feelings and how to keep her pussy utopia above ground. Subscribe so you won’t miss it when The Eroticist and Mr. Drama give their advice.

If you have a sexual thing going on you could use some advice about,  write to TheEroticistsAdvice at g mail dot com (make it look like a real email address before sending), and your question will be answered on this blog on Tuesday. Identities are kept anonymous. 

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