Up My Ass With A Purple Rod. A Sex Toy Review

Once upon a time, there was a 20-something year old black girl with a big butt, and a penchant for exploration. She sat on the internet all the time roaming for anything sexual to make her tingle. One day while surfing, a purple stick of vibrating beads nearly bumped her on the nose from the other side of her computer screen. She clicked “buy now”, and the rest was history.

This is the story of me, my webcam, my man, and the Waterproof Flexible Vibrating Beads.

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The year I first bought this toy was 2006. I’ll start with the positives with this thing.

Pluses

  1. The beads are smooth all around so no rough seams that could tear you inside.  *Upon checking Amazon, a 2012 review stated their toy’s beads were not smooth. Mine were and each was made of two pieces of acrylic as stated in the review. I guess mine were buffed or Pipedream has changed the quality of it since I last bought it.
  2. The beads are graduated nicely. The first one isn’t too big which can be a big fear for a first timer with beads. Of course, I’d decided I would try beads based on porn views and knew what to look for, but I’m so easily influenced.  pathetic
  3. I love purple. I think it also comes in a nice, bright pink. The purple one looks more jeweled so this thing is easy to look at.  Again, it doesn’t look intimidating.
  4. It has about 4 speeds, I think. I don’t quickly recall because it’s been a while since I’ve used it. More on that in the “minuses” section.
  5. The vibrations are intense but not too strong to cause numbness if you leave it on or in you awhile. Low speed is even good with this thing, that’s if you usually you have to have your vibrators on high like I do.
  6. This thing is great for clitoral stimulation and vaginal penetration for the g-spot.
  7. It’s flexible so you can bend it in positions while you do other things with your other hand with other toys if you need.
  8. It is not loud. It vibrates to produce a nice murmur.
  9. It’s relatively cheap. You can get one less than $20 excluding shipping.
  10. It is actually waterproof.
  11. It’s easy to clean.
  12. It’s durable.

Okay, I think that’s all the gushing I can do about these flexible beads. Let’s get to the bad part!

Minuses

  1. Is it my pussy and ass, or is it really so easy to burn this vibrator’s motor out? It worked fine for several uses. I’ll say after about 10, the thing starts to blink out.
  2. I bought this toy 3x before I gave up.

I just don’t know what is with this thing, but it was disappointing to say the least. There are flexible beads that don’t vibrate I could buy. Ehh.

What we’ve done with these beads. 

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Together:

Missionary style-him rubbing it on my clit while he plows me.

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Foreplay-vaginal penetration with lots of in and out. The largest bead seems to rub my g-spot very well without trying much.

Me solo:

Anal-on cam on the bed. It’s easy to reach over my huge ass to push this inside of me back there. I’ve made a video using this toy in that position. Yea, don’t ask as I’m not passing the clip around.

Masturbation-on the side of a garden tub filled with a bubble bath. I also did myself on the tub in a video for him. The flexible vibrating beads were easy to reach over my front for rubbing the top of my clit, again because of the stick they are on and because they flex. I was fat at the time, so this was major. It seemed like a short extension of my arm, but enough.

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As I’ve said, I haven’t bought this toy again. I liked the idea. I don’t think it was my brand of batteries (it takes AAA I think). I use Duracell batteries. I don’t think I put too much stress on it.

Still, I love Pipedream toys. I’m an actual fan, but this was a failure nonetheless. Maybe one day I will give in to those regular, manual flexible beads. Who am I kidding?

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The Eroticist Is Now Your Sex Adviser

Need more than one of my 1,000 Tips for Heart Attack Inducing Sex? Got something personal you want La Drama Princess to advise you on. It’s simple. Send me a question or issue you need advice on, such as how to handle a scorned lover who just won’t move on, how to love anal sex, when to ask for a threesome, or what’s stopping her from opening up to you. Your question will appear in “The Eroticist’s Advice”  a new column I’ve started on this blog.

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Write to me, the sexual, mental dominatrix and erotic author, or my beau,  my cunningly freaky co-star Mr. Drama using the email address: TheEroticistsAdvice at gmail dot com (put that all together as a real address before you try to send). Together we have decades of experience, and we won’t even charge you. We’re very open-minded, so don’t worry, we’ve heard just about everything, and probably done just about half of it.

Questions and answers will be posted on Tuesday every week. Identities will not be revealed. Stay tuned next week for our first reader email and our answers.

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Lying Ass Virgins. We Hate You And Everything You Stand For!

Fuckin‘ lies! We hate your lies. You and your fuckin‘ lies. Too much? I sorry, but wooo, please girl. Stop lying. You’re not really a virgin. Oh who am I to judge your vagina? I’ll tell you who I am, Missy.

Disclaimer: This post is part humor followed by advice.

I’m the woman who’s tired of having to listen to the sad tales of men who have believed your fables of virtue and purity to keep them out of your vag. Are you really a virgin or are you just someone trying to portray an image?

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Saying you are a virgin will hold him off for a time. It can get you a ring I’ve heard. There are levels to this shit, huh? But your virginity could be doing you a disservice in your quest for marriage, and finally the opportunity to even have one. After you’ve gone down the aisle and said the vows, it’s time to put out.

What to do? What is he going to say when your inexperience is showing and his ravaging desires are out of control all over you? Girlllll, you’d better be prepared.

I have some advice for the partner who does marry a virgin:

Train ‘em.

That’s the bad word in this post, train. What woman other than a doormat will allow a man to train her? Not even a male virgin would willingly go for that is what you might be saying. Perspectively, that’s the line you need to draw and set out to make it plain for your sweet, little virgin.

“Train them in the way they should go and they will never stray from it”. Isn’t that what grandma used to say? These old lines from wise women aren’t just for child raising, they are also good for freak making. How will they know how to suck it if you don’t train them?

Ohhhhh, yesssssss

 

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Mmmhmmmmmm….

Don’t fear it, embrace it. Take control of your virginity and your virgin’s uncertainties. Your marriage is supposed to be forever. It will be like two if you have to suffer one day with a virgin who has not your guidance to do exactly what you like. Be gentle and kind. Be understanding and firm.

Give it your all and keep it wet.

Sit down on it and make it stay hard.

Go forth and train your virgin. If you won’t, hit the advice box at TheEroticistsAdvice@gmail.com to get answers from either me, La Drama Princess, or Mr. Drama. But appreciate me before you leave when you scroll to the next image and take these additional tips.

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Eat her down low. Roll into his face. Lose control. Stay down on her and show her that she can take more.

Take it all off and be his sexy dancer.

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Show him what you want him to do with your body. It’s just you and him. Make him happy and you will be too. Make it last forever when you become free, one orgasm at a time.

With each stroke it will only get easier. Go to him and do everything to him.

Bye now. Come back next week for a toy review.

LaDramaPrincess.com– where the hottest erotic fiction lives.

 

My Son IS Gay, And It’s Because I’m A Single Mom :( #HAHAT (Giveaway Included)

The internet is for everyone, and fuckery is too.

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HAHAT 2014

*Warning–if you’re new here, this post can and will be VERY explicit as all other posts on this blog.

What in the shit damn hell is this logic single moms are turning out flamboyant gay sons? Oh, I don’t know, because a black women can’t raise a straight son?! Are we that scared of gays we are just making up shit now? My son is so straight I can’t even beg him to be gay. Believe me, I’ve tried. I like causes. I wanted to sponsor his. He won’t be gay, so I don’t have any home causes to crusade. My life is shit.

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Ironic I chose this picture isn’t, considering…

 

Now I’m gonna write this post in my own way. It is International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia #IDAHOT, but I feel compelled to get down on some of you’s level.

So let’s get it!

What of all the straight men raised by single, black moms? What about all the gay black men raised by two parents? People sit around on the internet and spread all of this hate without a damn toothpick to stand on. Where is their science to support this school of thought? Oh, that’s right. One doesn’t exist except in the minds of bigots and hateful lames!

Black people stay doing and saying the dumbest things. And it’s so disappointing. Oh yes, other races do too, other religions since many religious blacks are Christians, but we always sound the stupidest, and we end up suffering the most from our prejudiced views against minority groups when we always, always end up worse off.

I point out blacks because there is one particular guy out there helping to spread this ideal that black single moms are so terrible, scarily declaring no need for a male figure in their sons’ lives, they resolutely hurt their children’s wellbeing, their sexuality, because black men ain’t shit, they don’t need no man. neckroll

No woman needs a no good man. That’s nothing radical to say. Other races of women say the same thing. A woman is a woman. A gay son is a gay son. Stop reducing sexuality down to one or two simple ass factors that have no place other than to cover up  more glaring and respectfully deeper issues.

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See, it’s been going on for years, well before the single black woman was honored as the sole producer of gay sons and her coat of arms covered in words such as angry, bitter, and doomed. *side frown*

ALL sons need a male figure. Daughters do too. What about gay black gay women? Damn! I keep forgetting they are all gay because they hate men because one too many did them wrong in the past. They had to hate the dick to get on. And you know black bisexual women are just so because they were molested as kids. They are confused and will go back to the straight life depending upon how fruitful the financial opportunities offered to them by the transgender men they’ve been hypnotized into relationships with.

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A mother can be angry, even with a man active in the child’s upbringing. Sexuality is too complex for you to think so simple of it. If you don’t understand something, say you don’t, then go read.

Black Trans Girl Fucks Another Chick<—this a video. NSFW, obviously on here. 

It’s so bad out here, there are trans people going along with this diminishing philosophy against everything non-heterosexual. So now, not only are we  teaching ourselves to hate others, we are shouting from the rooftops to hate ourselves. Oh wait! We’ve been doing that for years. Yea, I know. It is time for something completely new.

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If the gays and their backgrounds gotcha so bent, go jump off the edge of the earth, and that shit ain’t even flat. That fool is forever connected to that stupid ass school of thought. See what you’ve done to yourself. You’ve put yourself down in history as an ignorant, hateful ass, fool of the likes of forgotten explorers and Tommy Sotamayor.

I produce work that shows life as it is. The things I write about, not talking about the sex part horn dog, they are all common in any community of people, yet I have still had to endure discrimination of my books. People seem to have a problem with anything that doesn’t fit their clean, little perceptions and classifications. As LGBTQ people have to face generally negative judgement from heterosexuals in everything we do and towards much of what we say, those who claim to be down for the cause aren’t always so inviting to the black gay male character leading a book of explicit sex and high drama, or the trans, and most definitely that bisexual I wrote about named Tanea (from “You Ain’t The One”). She seems to piss folk off the most. Believe me, I’ve had to “cyber march” for my books on many fronts, in the marketplace and in private forums. I do find it obscene, these judgements and snubs, but I don’t find them unusual. Remember, I’m a black woman, a single mom, and I sport pink, purple, and blue at the same time.  It’s all in a day’s work for an author like me.

Bring your discrimination. I’ll take it times two. I’ll raise your blood pressure by 100 points, and in more ways better than one.

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Safer sex is always implied on this blog. If you’re grown, you know the risks, you know better. Do I need to preach? Didn’t think so.

So, for all of my open-mind readers out there, I’m giving you the gift of my imagination in honor of Masturbation May and International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. I’m giving away my first book, the ebook version. It is truly for anyone who can get down with it. It is all inclusive. Enter below. Here’s the deets. Keep reading.

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Win 1 ebook copy of “Submit to The Dark Side: Stories to Explain the Stains” (read about it before you win it, here). Leave a comment below with the title of my latest book released this month for ~one~ entry into the contest. Follow this blog for ~two~ entries.

**You must give the name of my latest book to be entered at all. There are several clues on this blog and on LaDramaPrincess.com.  Submit your valid and current email or some form of social media contact (Twitter, FB, etc.) with your comment to be contacted when you win.

Contest ends May 25th at midnight CST! The winner will be chosen by randomizer. A blog post will go up during the day on May 25th to announce the winner. If I don’t hear back from you by May 28th, I will pick someone else and they will get the prize. Good luck! 

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One of my favorite trans music artist:

Check for Laverne Cox in “Orange is The New Black”, season 2, June 6th on Netflix.

Broadway Sings For Pride's 2nd Annual Gay Pride Concert

Want to win more prizes? Visit the other blogs to see what they’ve got for you. There are over 130 in this hop. Eat up!

http://hopagainsthomophobia.blogspot.com/